This is me.
The good. The bad.
…And the ugly.

I’m a guy who’s on a journey to discover the secrets to natural confidence and to share what I learn on my travels…

In case you don’t know, I am currently traveling the world and writing the book “Secrets of The World’s Most Confident People”. I am literally searching out The World’s Most Confident People and interviewing them.

How am I choosing the people I interview?
I simply looked at the main ways I lack confidence in the world – and there are four of them.

I lack confidence around Sex, Money, Other People and Being Creative.

So the next part was easy…
I want to meet the most Sexually Confident people in the world.

I want to meet people so Confident with Money that they can generate whatever they need. Whenever they need it.

I want to interview men and women so Confident with Other People that they can walk into a party or a networking meeting not knowing a soul and walk out with a dozen phone numbers! (Me, I break into a sweat every time I walk into a party…)

And I want to interview people with such Creative Confidence that they feel free to do what they love. And even those creative people who have seen huge success: artists; musicians; film stars and more. Creative souls who are so excited about their work that others pay them. LOTS. Paid for doing what they LOVE – imagine that! So they can KEEP doing what they LOVE!

Cool. So why the aching heart? That sounds like fun.

If you don’t know, then read this older post…

As I write, I’m currently living on a beach in Thailand (I know. I know. What are you complaining about, dude?!)

And my wife has decided to take time away from me. Hey, who am I kidding? We are separating.

We are separating to get clear on what we both really, really, REALLY want from life.
That may include being together (Personally, I hope it does).

And it may not…

The key to being authentic is that I hide nothing. So you’re gonna get all of me on this blog. And I’ll be unapologetic about it.

Except when I say sorry.

So here’s the strange bit.
We have three more days together on this beach and I realized that I can spend this time being sad and upset and miserable and morose and gloomy [insert your favorite adjective for when you feel down in a relationship]. Or I can Choose My Experience.

My friend Michael Neill is a Supercoach (well, he ought to be – he has just written the book, Supercoach!) In Supercoach he says:

“Your day doesn’t create your mood; your mood creates your day…
When your mood is low, the world looks bleak; when your mood is high, you feel like you can take over the world.
When your mood is high, your partner is the most wonderful man or woman in the world; when your mood is low, they’re a complete bastard.
The difference is, as always, not in the world, but is being created inside you.  And a deeper understanding of how it’s being created will give you a whole lot more options about what to do about it.”

He goes on to say that the important thing to realize about your thinking, particularly your “unhappy” thinking is:

“It’s never the first thought never hurts – it’s the fifth, or fiftieth, or even five hundredth which inevitably comes when you follow a negative train of thought on its rambling journey to destinations unknown.”

And I get it.
I can sit here on this beautiful beach, and go off into my head, judging myself for all the mistakes I made, worried about how I’ll cope when my wife leaves or anxious about a future alone…

OR…

I can look at the beautiful blue ocean, the golden sand and the stunning woman in a bright red bikini lying next to me (that’s my wife, Monique, by the way!) And I can be totally present in this moment.

My life is great. I have 2 more weeks in Thailand; then 2 weeks in Singapore, where I’ll be interviewing two women who have been guests on Oprah. After that, I travel to China. I don’t know what will happen then. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

My heart hurts.

AND…

My life is great.

“Here’s what I got.” - I’ve got a download of my favorite song by my wife, Monique DeBose, from her 2nd album “Choose The Experience: Volume 2″ She’s an amazing singer/songwriter. Check her out here and download Enjoy The Ride here